SINGAPORE : The Singapore Department of Statistics said while incidents of divorce have increased over the last year, the rates of marriages and remarriages have also increased.
23,966 marriages were registered last year, up by 1.1 per cent or 260 from 2006. However, this was still lower than the annual average of 24,800 registered in the 1990s.
7,226 marriages were dissolved last year, up by 165 from 2006, and the largest divorce rate came from couples aged between 20 and 24.
Remarriage has become increasingly common, with 18 per cent of grooms and 15 per cent of brides remarrying in 2007. Those remarrying were an average of 7 to 13 years older than those contracting first marriages. - CNA /ls
This is a quote taken reported by Channel News Asia on 9 july 2008. Sometime i tend to wonder why go through all the trouble from coming together if it result in a divorce... Is the couple moving from the state of experimenting into intensifying too fast? Or id it bonding comes to early into the picture? As years go by, marriage is no longer a life long thing many people perception have change over the years. Even in the stage of integrating and bonding, people no longer think and say 'we'. Instead of 'we feel that this is not a good solution' it became 'i don't think this is a good solution'. Is this why people drift apart after the marriage?
As Singapore open herself up more, man is no longer the bread winner of the family. Women study like men does and they got themselves a paid job compare to what they used to be. In some families its the woman that call the shots and they earn more then the husband. Is this one of the other unseen reason behind? Men feel belittled by their wives which its just the problem of their ego. Or is it they no longer have much time to communicate and bond with their family due to work and stress?
Have not gone through marriage, but i can try feeling the awkwardness between 2 people when they no longer have any topic to chat about. Its uncomfortable silence. Is circumscribing the start of outside marriage affairs? Is this the another way of feeling love. People may think 'its ok i am just fooling around. What can go wrong?' Slowly this became stagnation. Big fuss about small stuff, couple having cold wars, giving each other disgust glares. It is not very healthy if there is a small kid involved.
Avoiding each other becomes very often. Going out early and coming home late, sleeping in different bedrooms, not communicating with each other normally ends up in terminating the relationship.
The largest divorce rate came from couples aged between 20-24 and people getting remarried around 7-13 years later. If it is the same group of people, they will be in their 30s. Is this showing that as years goes by, they have learn to compromise more or they just want to settle down for the sake of settling down? Is there really love? Or its just a mutual comfort of two broken soul?
What really went wrong in the relationship? Is it lack of communication in their relationship or its actually reciprocity and counterfeit liking in the first place?
上帝看得见。
谁和谁的纠缠不清,谁和谁的爱恨情仇。
这不是一幕肥皂剧。
是你,在用生命上演,悲伤的绝唱。
I believe that in order for marriage to last between a couple, it involves giving and taking. Many couples divorce only months after marriage due to lifestyle differences. Etc. eating habbits,Cleaning habits and other daily actions which they do not notice till they start living together under one roof.
ReplyDeleteI have also noticed that children which grow up in broken families tend to end up in broken families themselves too.
I think this is due to the lack of communication between both parties. When less communications are involved, both parties cannot get their opinion across to each other, therefore misunderstanding, which leads to a divorce eventually.
ReplyDeleteI believe the society has a greater impact for this problem. Everyone is having a busy lifestyle, mainly those to went out to work, left home early and came home late, this is sometimes the beginning of lack of communication for each other, because the working people may be too tired to talk, or the other party at home may already be sleeping.
This is an inevitable issue, that couples might not be as loving as when they are dating.
its so true actually.
ReplyDeletestarting a relationship is fairly easy.
but maintaining it..its another different story.
having a cpl which has different views on things,different hobbies will all lead to disagreement.
not only minor ones,but some major problems too.
so it's rather important to "choose" more precisely and carefully when its for something important,such as relationship in this case.
who doesnt wants a long and everlasting marriage?
with kids,happy family is just the best u could ask for in ur life.
but is it really that easy to achieve?
(:
kim here thinks...
ReplyDeleteyah i believe that it is different views of people. Marriage is not just a matter of two person getting together but rather two families getting together. I belive that may be another reason that they may be driffiting far apart. Different back grounds, different mind concepts.
In the past, there were values attached to marriages. Religion defined it as sacred, society viewed it as a stigma if you got divorced, and the sheer force of traditional family values is counter-culture to the idea of divorce.
ReplyDeleteBut in the post-modern world where everything is deconstructed, and marriages relegated to a mere social contract, its no wonder that a divorce is treated by many as being merely the breaking of another contract, like a scholar breaking his bond to jump ships.
A very informative article!
ReplyDeleteIt is disheartening to see the divorve rates shoot up every year.I think people are becoming more materialistic and intolerant day by day. Nobody wants to compromise or be committed these days.In a relationship, it is the individuals who need to take efforts to sustain it.But due to growing individualism, degrading moral vlaues and increase in live in relationships, the whole scenario has changed.I fear that in the next ten years, we will hardly have the concept of marriage.
Anonymous no.1 says that 'children which grow up in broken families tend to end up in broken families themselves too' which i find it kinda true. You learn and pick up certain habit as you grow... this might be one of it... as they will not put so much effort and time into a relationship, they think that if i dun get along then just stop lor...
ReplyDeleteonce again modern day thinking, it is true that sometimes there are things u canot tolerate, but the lvl of limit for ppl now is very very low
ReplyDeleteppl use morals and reasoning for an excuse for their own selfishness
Values, Culture, Behaviour changes as time goes by. Identities are always fluid and changing.
ReplyDelete"Avoiding each other becomes very often. Going out early and coming home late, sleeping in different bedrooms, not communicating with each other normally ends up in terminating the relationship." - Norms are culturally defined standards by which people assess desirability, goodness and beauty and they set as a broad guidelines for social living.
So who are the ones who set these norms?