For many years Singapore government has came up with 'latest behavior modification campaign' - a wedding "punctuality drive" - to encourage guests to turn up on time for couples' big day. But till now, I still have not seen much effect yet. People still stroll in VERY LATE like nobodies business. These polychronic people have no sense of time at all. They feel that its ok to be late... no harm... but what about those being on time? Is it fair to them? Letting them sit there for hours when they made an effort to reach on time.
Is it because of the collectivist culture we are in? We learn from elder that 'the more important you are, the later u can arrive'? Have we actually picked up this bad beliefs our ingroup have portray?
Chinese being brought up in a collectivist culture, we tend to favour 'face-saving' , duty to parents, modesty and thrisft. Normally this culture is being think as one with interpersonal sensitivty and mutual sympathy, why are we still late for wedding? Isn't being late unfair to others? How can we have 'interpersonal sensitivty' and be late on the same time?
If one can be on time for work, schools and even a date, why can't they be on time f0r a couple's wedding? This is definatly not taught by the teachers and peers in school? Its the parents and relative being a bad influence to the youngster. They will always say 'don't need to hurry, never mind... they will not start before us... etc' what are these old hag trying to prove? Do they think that having so many people to wait for they give them the 'face' they want? Have they lost their mind some where? Do they even have any shame in them or they are just too thick skin for their own good?
How can one be so monochronic and yet so polychronic in time orientation at the same time? Culture of being late in a wedding is already being programed into the minds of people. Is it time for them to re-tuned their brain back into the correct path track? I believe that all people should un-learn what our elders have taught on time orientation and embrace a new one.
What are your views on this? Do you agree with what i have said? Or do you still think its perfectly fine to be late? Please leave a comment....
我在夢裡徘徊找不到出口，
找不到可以逃脫的路口；
那是抹痛徹心扉的傷口，
卻無法解脫、更無法灑脫。
Applying a bit of PSY101 here, our behaviours and all partially shaped by the stimuli around us.
ReplyDeleteGrins.
Personally, since I started working, I began to question the elasticity of time in Singapore's society. See, my boss ALWAYS expects me to start work on time, but NEVER expects me to leave office on the dot. It seems that keeping to time is a foreign concept in the office.
And I guess that might partially explain why we have a chronically late culture. Meet up as a group, and there's bound to be at least one or two who will show up late.
Of course, the force of tradition that creates scenarios such a being intentionally late for weddings is as much about bad habits of the older generation, reinforced all their lives by repeating it over and over again... THAT we need to change.
My point is that I believe it to be a lot more pervasive than merely being in something as specific as a wedding dinner.
=)
I say it's probably a force of habit for some people to be late haha. As a fairly collectivist society we become very comfortable in our in-groups, and therefore probably take for granted the mutual respect we have for one another. (Think "aiya... all buddy buddy what... they won't mind one") The fact that we are all afraid of offending one another by accusing or someone for not being punctual also encourages this bad habit ("i know he's late la... haiyo never mind la he's a good friend of mine").this almost too easy-going culture might instead be detrimental to our relationships.
ReplyDeleteHahaha.. ya, i think it's quite a bad habit for us Asian.. for being late.. But luckily, in Indonesia mostly is not a table dinner but instead most of us opt for standing party as it will not be so obvious that the guest are coming late.
ReplyDeleteit is already bad being late. It is as good as breaking a promise, agreeing to a timing, and yet come late... it is like not obeying to the stipulated time. It is a bad habit that nobody likes, i can still accept that other party being late by a few minutes, but being late for such a long time is unforgivable.
ReplyDeletethere are very few people nowadays that actually bother about punctuality, since modern day culture has already affected the youngsters of today. this informal way of thinking is almost disturbing
ReplyDeleteLol i think i am falling into this category... as for no reason i find myself always late. No matter if its class or going out with friends... guess its just a bad habit of mine. Sorry yvonne for making u wait for me T_T
ReplyDeletehaiz. *shakes head*
ReplyDeletesadly,i fall into the category of being there EARLY instead of being punctual.
thus always waiting for other ppl who are late.
and thats like... 9/10 of my friends?
late-coming is getting more common among ppl already.
longest waiting time for a friend was 2.5hrs.
just kept waiting at the mrt station looking like a retard.
reason for being late?
"oh,i thought i could make it on time when i leave home at XX timing.but i guess not."
everyone shuld instill this good habbit in them..
being on time=lesser time wasted=more things done.
24hrs a day is seriously NOT ENOUGH.
im always late.. :P but thats because of my bad planning. not intentionally!
ReplyDeleteI so agree with louqi... i once waited for a girl for like 3hours in the library... and it was raining so its really really cold in there. When i call her she dun even want to answer her phone... sad thing huh...
ReplyDeleteNow no longer contact her as i hate her for being always late....
I'm one of those who are always late..hahaha!!
ReplyDeleteI guess it's normal for people to be late for a wedding cuz it's become a habit/culture. I have no idea why too..but even if we reach early, we'll still have to wait anyway....
But oh well...i guess it would be difficult to change this habit as we are all so used to it.
=X
I'm someone who can be late most of the time too. Lucky for me that most of my friends are not that punctual too. We always set our meeting time half an hour earlier so there's room for us to be late....wahahah!